8 Tips for Writing Your Own Vows
One of our favorite ways that any wedding ceremony can be personalized is through customizing your wedding vows. We love how popular it is for couples to write their own vows. It makes the ceremony feel more you than any other part of the process can! If you’re planning on writing your own vows, here are a few tips to get you started-- and hopefully finish-- strong for the big day.
Don’t procrastinate. It may take some time to get the right words on paper. If you’re worried, that’s all the more reason to start early so you can revise as much as necessary. You can always edit your words as long as there is actually something to edit.
Make sure to say “I love you”. Those three little words are left out of so many vows and it’s surprising. Sometimes the most obvious can be the most important parts of the vows. Don’t worry about being cliche or saying something that’s overused. As long as you mean it, that’s what matters.
Include your own version of “for better or worse”. No relationship is without its problems. Knowing that you’ll be there through thick and thin is a key part of your vows. Saying it your own way can be incredibly endearing. And if you can’t think of anything, don’t be afraid to steal a little from the original.
Try and try again. Creating a couple of different versions can help you pick the best parts to meld together. Many different vow experts say threes the charm. If you can get three drafts and select the best pieces from each, you’ll be golden!
Don’t try to say everything. Simple and sweet can pack a much bigger punch than a 20 page dissertation. You have a lifetime to say it all. Be picky and say what’s most important on the big day.
Have a 3rd party read both your and your partner’s vows. They can give you feedback without spoiling the good bits. They can tell you if your vows are too short or too long. They can also let you know if you have similar tones that compliment each other.
Don’t be afraid to open up. You may have an audience but these are promises you’re making to each other. Focus on the love of your life as the audience not everyone else.
Practice, practice, practice. You really don’t want to be tripping over your words, especially if you’re prone to tears already. For the best reactions and emotions to be conveyed, timing and enunciation are important.
If throughout this process you learn that you’d really rather not write your own vows, don’t be afraid to let your partner know. The standard vows are tried and true for a reason and there’s nothing wrong with using them. If one of you still really wants the personal touch, you can always choose to exchange promises and intimate letters before the ceremony instead. You don’t have to declare your words in front of a crowd. It’s your wedding and it’s all about what is right for you and your partner.
